King David Debates Mr. Moshiach

There are many individuals out there that feel the impact of religion would otherwise be more fulfilling and virtuous, as opposed to my said claims that we will be fine living in a decent society without.  So a certain group recruits their own leader, Mr. Moishe Moshiach, who willingly obliges to bring about the land of apples and honey to the people.

Mr. Moshiach and a group of people are seen by the Mount Of Olives building a massive temple.   King David approaches the site.

King David – “Did I not yet mention that God promised the fulfillment of the peoples, that will last for all time?”

Moishe Moshiach – “We need dogma, we need duty, we need discipline, which are the three D’s forever, and we cannot rest without D.D. and D.  The Lord Hashem will be greatly fulfilled when we slaughter our rabbits, our ponies, our sheep, and our smelly rats for him and there are no quotes around HIM.”

King David – “Did I not yet explain that God doesn’t need worship, as ‘he’ is content when the world is peaceful and we happy people, forever.  It is the same as I don’t need my greyhound bowing to me every five minutes, and that I want her to just enjoy life completely the way it should be.”

Moishe Moshiach – “We want Jannah, and we want virgins just like our Muslim brethren, and we want promises and rewards from Hashem, and there are no quotes around HIM.  We bow to HIM because he is ever-formidable and demands such.”

King David – “You’re not thinking love, yet only a God as a superior with prime interests in making ‘his’ followers duly submissive.”

Moishe Moshiach – “We will build.  He, without quotes, will come!”

King David sighs and walks off.

3 months later, Mr. Moshiach speaks to a large gathering of people in Hebron.  King David is alerted to attend.

Moishe Moshiach – “We need to obey God, and worship him, and this apparent King is telling us the mitzvoh is no longer needed.  As a result, we will become a terrible, lawless bunch of fools shall we go along with his drivel.”

King David walks up to Mr. Moshiach.

King David – “Didn’t I not yet explain that God will bring us the perfect society for the people of the world?”

Moishe Moshiach – “I cannot think without dogma, duty and discipline.  I cannot breathe without the three D’s.  We need to submit to his will forever, or we cannot become complete.  We also need to rest on Shemini Atzeret, whatever that holiday is for, as explained in Levictius 23:36.  We need to have children forever, even after Hashem stops childbirth.  Genesis 1:28.  I must stay with my mean, cruel wife, as stated in Deuteronomy 22:19, and never divorce.  I admit I still love her, yet only if she would let me watch the match on the Sabbath.”

King David – “That’s why we will have plural marriage in the days to come, so you can meet with your Sabbath wife on those days.”

Moishe Moshiach – “My Nazirite friends must ever eat lovely grapes Numbers 6:3 and never cut his head, Numbers 6:5, and I don’t know if any are still living. The Levite tribe, wherever they may be, must tithe a tenth. Numbers 18:26 and since I may not be of that tribe, so be it.

King David – “Right.  Many of those rules don’t apply to current day, so let’s just tend to our garden, instead.  If that may be the so-called ‘mitzoh’, say the household chores.

Moishe Moshiach – “We must bow and slave, forever.  We must serve, and be dutiful Deuteronomy 10:20.  Fear, and I’m scared, and we must be afraid of God, forever.”

King David – “When we realize the truth, we will fear less.  There shall be great ease within.  Do not worry about those mitzvah.”

Moishe Moshiach – “We must, we must, we must, we must.  Buy a Hebrew servant Exodus 21:2.  We must have death penalties even when God has promised eternal life someday Deuteronomy 22:24.  We must destroy Canaanite nations, and I don’t know if they are still around: Deuteronomy 20:17.”

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